Wednesday, October 1, 2014

The D word (Death)

My first experience was with my grandfather in 1999.  I was 13 almost 14 and I didn't really understand what all had gone on with granddaddy Garner.  I knew he had Cancer and I knew he had lost his battle with that but it wasn't years, and I mean years later till I found out how bad it really was for him.  Granddaddy Garner was great.  He loved his wife and children and LOVED his grandchildren.  He fought a hard battle and my momma was trooper through the whole thing.  She and her siblings were there to help Grandma Garner do everything and take care of him.  He was a good man and led an amazing life and left us with great memories.  I have no doubt he is enjoying his eternal reward.   


Then the next closest hit was Papa in March of this year (I know others died in between those but these hit closest to home) and that was so real to me and it was then that I thought I really understood about death.  It was real.  It was hard.  But in the end it was so much better for Papa.  He fought a hard battle for a long time and he went peacefully, and left us with wonderful memories to reflect on. Daddy was the only boy and he and his sisters spent as much time as they could down there and helping Nana with everything. I have no doubt Papa and Granddaddy are talking about everything and loving every bit of the reward they both worked so hard for.  I thought that had prepared me for death.


Then within the past 2 months a guy that was a year older than me lost his battle with cancer, one of my best friends from college lost her sis/mom to a 9 year battle with breast cancer, and just today a woman that was a great friend of the family finally gained her heavenly reward after a horrible fight with cancer. 


Death is real.  It is heartbreaking.  It is so hard to understand.  But I feel like it is surrounding me right now. 


It is really hard to grasp the reality of death. I know we all "know" we are going to die but we all get caught up sometimes in living like we don't think we are going to die.  My heart is breaking for my sweet Super and Jon and TL and their whole family dealing with the death of Sis.  Her faith was amazing and she was the most positive person I have ever met and she loved everyone.  Mrs. Barbara Cozart was a wonderful woman.  She was "good people" as I would like to refer to people who just were amazing.  In the past year or so every time we would see her she would always have a smile on her face even though I knew she was fighting inside.  She was just happy to be alive.  She was happy to be with her friends and family.  But even as happy as these two were they were ready.  They knew they had something better to look forward to.  So as I sit here with tears in my eyes I am thankful knowing there is something better and that we have the ultimate Healer and Comforter.  As hard as it was to lost my grandfathers I can't imagine how hard it was to watch Our Father willingly give His Son to die to save us. As sad as I am today for the loss of these lives on earth I am so thankful they have gained their heavenly reward and that I know I will see them again one day. 


P. S. Sorry to make my first blog back so sad and serious just a lot that I needed to get out and everyone doesn't always like to hear someone say all this and I wouldn't be able to say most of it due to tears so just bear with my scrambled thoughts.  I will have a sweet fun post coming soon! :)

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