Misc. Thoughts....

...so for some reason the past few days I have had alot of things on my mind...and I thought the best way to get them off would be to blog and maybe get some other people's opinions. Now I know the opinions saying, but this is my blog and it is my way of venting. So I was talking to one of my best friends the other day and she was talking about how frustrated she was with one of our other mutual friends. She is alot closer with this mutual friend than I am so she had known some stuff that had been going on with her that I didn't know. She told me that our friend had been having some hard times and that she had missed work 3 days last week for a Dr. appt. That immediately through up a red flag...because she didn't say she was sick, she just said she went to a Dr. appt...so I hesitated asking scared of what she might say and sure enough it was exactly what I thought...She had gone to have an abortion. She had gone to a clinic out of town and she was only around 5 or 6 weeks pregnant. But as soon as I heard that it broke my heart...I guess all abortions break my heart, but this hit so close to home because this is a person that I thought I knew and that would never do something like this...(Side note: This is NOT anyone that I work with and NOT anyone associated with Faulkner.)

But the sad part is she did it...and now she is just going crazy I feel like. She is drinking alot more and acting ways that she knows she shouldn't. I am just so confused and conflicted on how people can think that abortion is not killing human beings...this baby had a heart beat already...and I don't know, I guess if I were in her situation and had just gotten a huge promotion and I was only 23, maybe it would cross my mind, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not make that decision. And the thing I didn't understand is the daddy said he wanted to marry her and help her with the baby and she still did it. Without even letting his vote count. It just hurts my heart.

Another issue I have been having lately is trust issues! I don't know why, but I have been lacking trust for alot of people in my life and I don't really understand why. I know maybe I am finally to that age where I am starting to understand and know things that I never have known before and maybe its that I am just constantly worried. And i don't want to be that way, in fact I want to be the exact opposite.

I know in Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus says: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So I am trying really hard not to worry so much and to trust God that he has a plan for me and for me not to worry with it so much and to do the best I can with what he has given me. And I really just think I am getting to that point in my life where I am just worried about everything that has to do with my life, my job, my family, my boyfriend...everything. And its not all bad worry or negative worry, just uncertainty. So any thoughts? Or advice??

Sorry for the random blog, just had alot on my mind!