The D word (Death)

My first experience was with my grandfather in 1999.  I was 13 almost 14 and I didn't really understand what all had gone on with granddaddy Garner.  I knew he had Cancer and I knew he had lost his battle with that but it wasn't years, and I mean years later till I found out how bad it really was for him.  Granddaddy Garner was great.  He loved his wife and children and LOVED his grandchildren.  He fought a hard battle and my momma was trooper through the whole thing.  She and her siblings were there to help Grandma Garner do everything and take care of him.  He was a good man and led an amazing life and left us with great memories.  I have no doubt he is enjoying his eternal reward.   


Then the next closest hit was Papa in March of this year (I know others died in between those but these hit closest to home) and that was so real to me and it was then that I thought I really understood about death.  It was real.  It was hard.  But in the end it was so much better for Papa.  He fought a hard battle for a long time and he went peacefully, and left us with wonderful memories to reflect on. Daddy was the only boy and he and his sisters spent as much time as they could down there and helping Nana with everything. I have no doubt Papa and Granddaddy are talking about everything and loving every bit of the reward they both worked so hard for.  I thought that had prepared me for death.


Then within the past 2 months a guy that was a year older than me lost his battle with cancer, one of my best friends from college lost her sis/mom to a 9 year battle with breast cancer, and just today a woman that was a great friend of the family finally gained her heavenly reward after a horrible fight with cancer. 


Death is real.  It is heartbreaking.  It is so hard to understand.  But I feel like it is surrounding me right now. 


It is really hard to grasp the reality of death. I know we all "know" we are going to die but we all get caught up sometimes in living like we don't think we are going to die.  My heart is breaking for my sweet Super and Jon and TL and their whole family dealing with the death of Sis.  Her faith was amazing and she was the most positive person I have ever met and she loved everyone.  Mrs. Barbara Cozart was a wonderful woman.  She was "good people" as I would like to refer to people who just were amazing.  In the past year or so every time we would see her she would always have a smile on her face even though I knew she was fighting inside.  She was just happy to be alive.  She was happy to be with her friends and family.  But even as happy as these two were they were ready.  They knew they had something better to look forward to.  So as I sit here with tears in my eyes I am thankful knowing there is something better and that we have the ultimate Healer and Comforter.  As hard as it was to lost my grandfathers I can't imagine how hard it was to watch Our Father willingly give His Son to die to save us. As sad as I am today for the loss of these lives on earth I am so thankful they have gained their heavenly reward and that I know I will see them again one day. 


P. S. Sorry to make my first blog back so sad and serious just a lot that I needed to get out and everyone doesn't always like to hear someone say all this and I wouldn't be able to say most of it due to tears so just bear with my scrambled thoughts.  I will have a sweet fun post coming soon! :)

My Sweet Sweet Ellie

I just have to take a moment and really take it all in.  This week is the lectureships at Faulkner and Momma and Daddy always come.  Daddy always comes to see me to do the lectures and mom is Louise's savior this week and helps her :) Today Daddy brought Ellie with him to chapel.  She of course fell asleep but I just kept looking at her a just taking in how little she used to be and how grown she is now.  She woke up after chapel on the way back to my office and she was just talking to us.  In my office is a birthday balloon that I am almost positive her and her Momma brought me 2 birthdays ago! She wanted to have it and Daddy and I told her no it wasn't her birthday and she without even thinking responded, "But I will have another birthday and Wee-Wee I will be 4!" She then holds up her four fingers and counts each one of them! I am sure everyone's kids are this smart but y'all I just couldn't be more proud of her! Louise and Dirt (and everyone really) works with her on a daily basis quizzing her over something and she is taking it all in! As you can tell I am going through a "I miss Ellie being little but I am loving her age right now" moment.  I know I will feel the same about Ethan, Hayes and sweet baby shamrock but right now I just can't believe Ellie is so big.  

Ellie and I at a basketball game :)

Seriously this kid is funny.  She is 3 going on 13!!  Sassy as can be! 

This picture just warms my heart but at the same time breaks it knowing she is just not far from school....(This is a high school yearbook ad picture if I have ever seen one!)

She wanted to dress herself to go help Lolo and the boys! 

Manthy took her to get another balloon since hers popped.  Why does she look so grown up here....like she would really love for Samantha to hurry up! 

This is a pic collage from waiting outside at Red Lobster and she wanted to take pictures on my phone....she is a hot mess poor child.  She has no personality can you tell? :)

Just messing around at a basketball game! We have a pep band that plays at the games and she LOVES them :) She will dance (white girl dancing for sure!) every time the band plays.  She absolutely loves it! 

I love this kid and I can't wait to make memories with Ethan, Hayes and baby Shamrock like these :) My cup overflows.

Words Matter

So things have been stressful the past couple of months.  So extremely stressful! I have felt like I was on a roller coaster of emotions, and before you ask, NO I am not pregnant I can assure you! :) I have just felt like everything in my life has been a bit more stressful that I have been used to! I have had a lot of people ask if I was ok or why I seem so sad recently and honestly I just have felt in a valley.  So I decided that I was just going to get out of regardless of what it took! But in the midst of my bad months weeks days I have been really hateful and hurtful with my words.  It is my downfall big time! And trust me I am ever so gently reminded by my loving sisters that I need to work on it.  So I say all that to say this post was on one of the blogs I follow and I thought it couldn't hit any closer to home.

Here is the link to read her blog:
Words Matter

Vacation is sooooo close!

Today has been better.....still exhausted but better :) All I can keep thinking is that I have one more day of work after today....ONE MORE DAY!!!! And then I will have A FULL WEEK OFF!!!! A FULL WEEK PEOPLE!!! I just absolutely can't wait!!! I am going to have to deep clean some but I can assure you that Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I am going to relax!!!! I am so excited about it! I have been talking with Louise and I think we may try to go to Birmingham on Tuesday and get the Pioneer Woman to sign our new cookbooks :) Whoop whoop! And do some Christmas Shopping! I am so excited about that! Today I am so thankful for Mo, one of our basketball guys here at school.  I have been his advisor for the past 2 years and we have worked hard to get all of his classes in so that we could get him graduated on time.  He is set to graduate in May and I could not be prouder of him and his hard work! He is a true testament of why I love my job and how thankful I am to work with students who bless me daily!

   I am thankful to have students who appreciate the hard work that I do and who make my job fun! So if you can't tell, the students make my job worth coming every day! :)

1 year. 5 months. 6 days.

That is exactly how long it has been since I blogged.  Yes I realize that's a while and I will never in a million years be able to go back through and catch everyone up on my life but honestly you haven't missed a whole lot.  Except pictures of my niece and nephews. :)

I debated on starting another private blog just so I can hash out how I feel without being judged but then I remembered that:

1. Not a whole lot of people read my blog......
2. I am an open book, let's be honest, and  I don't hide my emotions so good.....so I just figured I can put it all out there on the table! 
3. So here goes nothing......

I am tired.  Exhausted and emotionally and physically drained.  This week of vacation I have coming up is sooooo needed.  I want to deep clean my house.  I want to do all my laundry.  I want to throw myself a pity party just because I feel like it. I want to lay on my couch in sweat pants all day and just watch Christmas movies.....is that too much to ask?? I am really going to take advantage of my empty house time and just pamper me.  I think I might just go get me a pedicure and maybe even wrap some presents, after cleaning of course.  I just needed to get all of that out of my system.

Now on to something totally different.....Every Tuesday (at Faulkner) we have break out chapel sessions. I go to the female athlete chapel.  Tori Bartels leads it and yesterday hers was on being thankful, not just in November, but all year round.  We need to be in the habit of always being thankful.  So that got me thinking....I am going to try for a full year to write a thankful/gratitude journal via blog. I am going to try to think of things I am thankful for and also one persona  day I am thankful for.   I may have to play catch up sometimes but overall I am going to try to blog every day.  So here goes 2 days in one post! 

  Day 1:

I am thankful for Hallmark movies and sweat pants.  Yesterday was just a bad day all the way around.  And all I wanted to do was get in my sweatpants and watch sappy Christmas movies.  And I did just that.  It was wonderful and honestly it was just what I needed.  The person I am most thankful for today is my oldest sister Laurie.  She is always there no matter what and always is willing to do whatever is needed.  I am thankful to always have her on my side and always be my best friend and biggest fan! We may fight, but my love for her (and her growing family :)) gets stronger and stronger.  I am excited for her and this journey of motherhood she is embarking on and I know without a shadow of a doubt that she will be the most fun and loving mom there could be! 

Day 2:

I am thankful for spark and hair that can go three days without washing.  Today as i literally rolled out of bed at 7:10 AM and normally i am sitting in my desk, computer up and running by 7:45 AM well, that didn't happen.  I needed to wash my hair and well I just couldn't so I ran my straightener through it and called it a day.  Then got to work at 8:07 and had me a spark and I feel much better now.....so I am very thankful.  My person I am thankful for today is a student that I recruited when I worked in Admissions called me this morning and just out of the blue asked me what my favorite coffee from Starbucks was.....(side note here is that I don't like coffee from anywhere but I felt bad and got a frozen drink even after he said he was waiting for it to get cold so he could bring me some :)) He came in about 20 minutes later drink in hand.  He is also the same one who asked me to be his faculty representative when he was inducted into the Alpha Chi, which is the National Honors Society here at Faulkner.  He reminds me why I love my job and why I get up every day and come to work.  For kids like him who truly love Faulkner and appreciate the hard work that is put in to keep him here.  

OK well I feel as though this is a good way to start! Hopefully I can keep it up! Those that know me keep me accountable! Love you all!  

Ellie's 1st weekend alone with her Aunts (And Morgan and Michelle :))

 Louise and Dirt went out of town for their 5 year wedding anniversary on June 1st-3rd and they left sweet little Ellie in mine, Laurie, Michelle, and Morgan's care :) All of the boys, Justin, Matt, and Nate, all went on a deep sea fishing trip with some of our friends in Orange Beach so it was just the girls that weekend!! Below are our pictures from the weekend!! We had oh so much fun and I tell you what that sweet little Ellie never missed a beat! She was so good all weekend and I am so very thankful for that little girl!! She brings more joy to our lives than we ever could have imagined!! I hope Louise and Dirt get a hankering again to go out of town and leave her with us! I think they enjoyed their weekend a lot also!! :) So I hope you enjoy our weekend in pictures! :)

Let the weekend of Ellie and her Aunts Begin! (Laurie wasn't off work yet!! :))

First stop on our list was Burger King so Morgan and Ellie could play :)

Then to La's house we went to take a bath in her BIG bath tub!!



Then it was on to Elouise's and Dirt's house to have a slumber party with Morgan and Michelle!!! :)



In the morning mo decided to get up and come watch Ramona and Beezus while we waiting for the sleepy heads to get up....Michelle and Ellie :)



Sleepy head finally arose! :) 8:30 am this child slept til! :)



On to the Farmer's Market we go!

And as we were heading to the pool someone crashed! So we went to make us a picnic lunch at Michelle's and little princess slept in the car! :)



Ellie and Morgan living the good life in the pool!!! :)



Baby Piper came to swim too! :) And She absolutely loved the water!! That was her first time in a pool and she kept dunking her head!! :)



And Ellie loved swimming with Baby Piper!



Can you tell Ellie LOVES the swimming pool?!?!?

 

Then she needed to get out and do the chicken dance! :)

And Back to swimming!!! :) Really she loved it!! In her little inter tube she could do whatever she wanted!!

 

Seriously could she be any cuter?!??!



Next stop on our list was the nail salon....every girl needs a good mani/pedi! And Ellie loved hers! She sat so still while the woman was painting her toes!!

Well and as you can tell this sweet little girl was worn out!! And so was Ellie, Leigh Leigh, La, and Michelle!!

We had such a fun time!!! We absolutely love both of those little girls so so much and I am so thankful for everything they both bring to our lives!!! Maybe Ellie's Mommy and Daddy will leave her with us again!! :)

New Job!!!

Well I am so excited to finally be able to officially announce that I have a new job starting June 1st! I am moving into the Student Success department here at Faulkner and will be a Professional Advisor and starting teaching some in the fall! I am so nervous about starting to teach but I am so excited about the doors that hopefully can be opened with that opportunity!! I know I have, along with many others, prayed about this decision and I am so excited to be moving into a job that will allow me to advance and that will be something I can work with when Nathan and I decide to start a family! Again He has blessed me with more than I deserve but I am so thankful!! Thanks again to everyone who was praying for me! Your prayers and thoughts mean more than each of you will ever know! :)